According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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