does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
