so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
