I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
