part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
