She is in my trunk
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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