youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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