dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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