I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
