that's an acceptable place to lick
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
They took my balls.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
