How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
