Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
high people should be assigned attendants
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
