life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
