Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
