I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
