I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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