If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
