How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
