so that wasnt chicken after all
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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