the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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