You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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