id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
