i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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