her vagine was all disorganized.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
