Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
