He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
