Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
