i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
