I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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