im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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