I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
