if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
