the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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