You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
