So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
