proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
