I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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