i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
