You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
