I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
