a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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