I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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