Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
