You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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