Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
