On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
