hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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