Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
