My friends, they love my intelligence
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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