Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
