There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
