i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
