What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
