My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
