We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
