RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
