did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
