Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
